Author Krystina Stevens

Tag Archives: Mystery

Excerpt from forthcoming erotic thriller novel RED LETTERS

I looked at Katie’s other arm, which was still holding the bag straight out. Whatever was in the bag was smaller than the wine bag. “Tell me that’s not tequila.”

“Nope,” she said, setting it on the granite. “My present to you.” She reached into the bag and pulled out a small box, wrapped in colorful paper with a bow haphazardly stuck on top. She handed it to me and I looked at the comic font lettering on the wrapping paper.

“Happy Birthday?” I asked.

Katie shrugged. “All I had in the house. Besides,” she said with a mischievous smile, “it’s the thought that counts. And girl, I was thinking about you when I bought this.”

I squinted at her, but her face was impassive save for the smile. “Hint?” I asked.

She shook her head. “Open it.”

I tore the paper out from under the multiple strips of transparent tape she had nearly covered it in, finally exposing a white cardboard box. I glanced at Katie, whose smile was widening.

“Go on!”

I slowly opened the flap to the box, half expecting tortilla chips to come pouring out. Inside was a clear plastic box, the kind that hangs on a wall rack in a store. I pulled it out and looked at the bright pink object inside.

“Your very own jackrabbit!” she squealed, clapping her hands.

It was long, eight inches the label said, and thick. It had some row of beads about halfway down its length, four double A batteries packaged with it, and the most obscene little figurine mounted to one side.

I was terrified.

“Holy shit,” I breathed. “I’m supposed to stick this…”

“Where Martin won’t shine, baby!” She clapped again. “Oh, I was so going to get you the ten-inch model. I’ve got two of those…burned one of ‘em out! But you need to start slowly. I mean, if all you have is a little bullet thingy…”

“Start? Jesus, Katie, this thing scares the hell of me just looking at it.” I turned the package over and looked at the back. “Is it gas powered?”

She laughed out loud, the snorted. “No, that will be your Christmas gift.” She held up her hands when I looked sharply at her. “Kidding, kidding.” She walked around to stand beside me and started pointing at the parts of the monster toy.

“Waterproof. Very important for shower use,” she said. “Four different speeds, so you can, you know, change the mood. And look here,” she said, her finger tapping on the row of beads. “This section rotates. God, that’s friggin’ awesome.”

I felt my eyes start to return to their normal size, but was still petrified. For me, an adventurous night alone in bed was my four-incher and a cup of tea, not necessarily in that order. This thing was…terrifying.

“And the little thing on top?” I asked hesitantly, almost certain I knew her answer.

“That’s the piece of resistance. Or however they say that,” she said. She tapped the little figure, which from my angle did actually resemble a small rabbit. “For your big C.” She closed her eyes and started to hum. “Ooh, I have to go home now,” she said, then laughed.

I put the package back in the box and took a deep breath, blowing it out slowly. “Katie, I love you to death, but are you trying to kill me?”

“Silly. I’m trying to save you. From a life of boredom. Until your man treats you right, you need to take care of your own womanly needs.” She walked back to the other side of the island and crossed her arms, looking at me. “Or maybe I’ll call Brad to come over.”

“You do and I’ll call the fat man,” I countered. “I have his number.”

Her mouth fell open. “You’d better be shitting me.”

I smiled and slid the box to the side of the counter. “Maybe. Just remember, don’t mess with me.”

“Just you wait until you put that jackrabbit into action, honey. You’ll come running down the street to my house to thank me.”

—-

Watch for RED LETTERS, releasing this fall, and read all about Tania, Katie, Martin, and Tania’s mysterious and dangerous admirer!

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